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Jumaat, 8 Julai 2011

What are the odds Owen Hargreaves' YouTube video earns him a Premier League spot? Derek McGovern's Bets of the Day


That’s his first mistake. People don’t look on the internet for fit blokes, they look for fit women, naked ones. Or maybe that’s just me.

You’d have to ask who in their right mind would be prepared to offer someone a ­whopping wage based on clips of video evidence alone.

Then you remember Fergie bought Bebe after seeing a DVD. I think it was The Blair Witch Project.

Whichever director cut a video to make Bebe look a decent player deserves an Oscar of some description.

What next? Carlos Tevez getting someone to film him at an airport on the way back to South America to see his kids?

Any club who signs Hargreaves will have to pay a top insurance premium.

I have a fire-and-theft policy with my insurance company, but they only pay out if I get robbed while my house is on fire. I’ve collected three times so far... it’s a rough neighbourhood.

Hills are betting where Hargreaves will be plying his trade next year, and surprisingly the plumbing industry is not among the options.

The Premier League is 2-1 favourite, while the Bundesliga is 7-2. Hills offer 4-1 that he plays in the MLS next season and 6-1 that he goes to La Liga.

Those pictures of George Clooney and Sandra Bullock holding hands on the set of their new movie are disturbing for both men and women.

For women, because Bullock could take newly single George off the market; for men, because it means Bullock is making a new movie.

Take Speed out of the ­equation and Bullock has never made a single film that men are interested in.

Even on speed, they’re not much better.

She is herself single after last year divorcing her garage mechanic husband. They were married five years and he was unfaithful “several” times. Mechanics always give vague estimates.

Oscar-winner Bullock has been “comforting” Clooney following his split from his ­girlfriend Elisabetta Canalis.

Yes, I find that phrase very amusing too – Bullock an Oscar winner.

She’s 3-1 favourite with Hills to be Clooney’s next girlfriend, with Amanda Seyfried 5-1, Elle MacPherson 25-1 and Lisa Snowdon 66-1.

I’m on all of them – pretty soon, George will be too.

**

The search is on for a second godmother for the new Beckham baby.

Posh’s pal Katie Holmes is 4-1, but Becks may opt for a fairy godmother, in which case her hubby Tom is a shoo-in.

Some believe it is the first duty of a godparent to raise the child if later orphaned, but this is not true. The main job is to get a cut of the will.

It’s amazing that Posh, born in humble Essex, has already lassoed super-hottie Eva Longoria for one of the godmother roles.

Eva is famous for Desperate Housewives, as is Essex. Nicole Richie, Paris Hilton and Geri Halliwell figure in the betting – that figure is size zero.

But Posh may decide to hand the role to someone who eats, so I would put no-one off fellow Spice Girl Emma Bunton at 20-1 with Hills.

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